Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
