they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
