We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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