And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
