would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
