I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
