your parents love me but you hate me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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