I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
