Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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