why didn't you poke me back
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
