I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize