I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
