WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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