i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
