"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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