i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
