I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
