Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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