No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
