Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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