Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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