Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
