why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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