bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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