hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
