ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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