I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
