the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
