Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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