Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
