Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
