I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
