oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
