Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
