We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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