I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
