How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
