He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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