He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
