Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
