guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
