I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
