We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
