I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
