Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
