"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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