you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
