She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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