hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need to sanitize my soul.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
