From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
