Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
