i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize