Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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