I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, beer. Big fan.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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