The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
