He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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