Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
