last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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