like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
