I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
