Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
