dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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