Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
