so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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